Have you been naughty or nice?

What did I get myself into?

So here I am today totally overwhelmed and emotional.  I would have bit all of my fingernails off if I still had any.  Crafting and a pricey manicure don't exactly mesh.  I'm so glad my husband has his own company to run but noone tells you about the hardships of working for yourself.  As you may already know, it is tax season.  Most look at this time of year as almost a second Christmas.  A time when "uncle Sam" gives you one last gift.  Hopefully you were good and you get a good one, like a rebate.  If you've been naughty it's more likely a bill.  I used to look forward to this time as a relief.  The hardest part was trying to figure out what to do with the money I was getting back.  Not this year.  Oh no.  I have to run corporate taxes, pay federal, state, local, unemployment, sales and use tax, and any other obscure tax there may be.  I have to apply codes to all of my bank statements for every transaction of every month of the entire last year.  True, I knew about this earlier but I procrastinated until now.  It seemed much simpler a task until I have 12 months of statements in front of me.  Add that to my new year resolutions, keep up with paperwork. 

It seems procrastination has been a habit of mine that to date has not been such a detriment.  That is until now.  You see, I have put off starting my own business since 2009.  I acquired websites, twitter accounts, etsy shops, you name it I've got one with R.K. Finch plastered all over it.  But that was it.  It just sat there unused and unappreciated.  We had a steady income and quite frankly I took it for granted.  I never saved a nest egg.  I never focused on a business plan.  I never really fine tuned my product line.  What a mistake.  We are like a ship with a hole in the bottom.  It's not our fault.  I'm told it comes with the territory.  We have burned thru our savings and have been investing our own money into the business since banks don't invest until you make it two years.  So it seems we have another year of this hell.  The question remains, "Can we make it like this another year?"  I'm simplifying the best way I know how but it's still not enough.  I'm going to plant my garden again to help cut our food bill.  Coupons are my new best friend and I'm raising pigs for eating and chickens for eggs.

I have posted my party planner project with kickstarter.com and put the recommended 30 day limit on it.  I am terrified it won't succeed and I'll be left piecing the spring collection together as best I can on a shoestring budget.  Family health and financial problems continue to lurk in the background.  I am grateful everyday that people are supporting and enjoying what I do in my etsy shop.  I just wish you guys would buy something already!  I know nothing happens overnight but I could use a little overnight success right now.  Sorry, stress induced rant aside I am working hard and dreaming of something good.

Moving on from business woes, I am so confused with this winter weather.  I thought people would be over white wreaths but with the absence of snow that's all anyone ever looks at in my shop.  I still get views of the one I sold early on this season.  Didn't you people get enough snow last year?  Guess not, so I made two more snowball white wreaths and a lot of you like them.  I like them too considering we never get snow here.  This winter has been so warm here that my tomato is doing better than my cabbage and winter greens.  Who would have thought I'd be in shorts in January?  What a freak winter this is.  I'm hesitant to plant anything tempermental like beans but I am going to put some onions and garlic into the ground this weekend.  I haven't had my heat or air on for over two months now.  My power bill is much smaller but I don't know how long this is going to last.  This summer might sneak up on us quickly and all that is over. 

Most "snowbirds" are just coming into town now that there has been some snowstorms up north.  The grocery store and the post office are my most dreaded trips.  Long lines await no matter what time you go.  They are stocking their kitchens and forwarding their mail.  I can understand why they come every year.  I'd take 70s during the day and 50s to 60s at night over waist high snowdrifts any day.   I'm considering renting a space at the local flea market to help get my design business out there.  It's something to get my stuff noticed.  I've gotta make money somehow and I have a growing inventory that is taking over my house and studio.

I guess I should remember why we chose this path.  I don't want to forget the reason we went our own way and long for the "garlic and onions".  Slaving for a cruel master is no dream situation even if it did come with a steady paycheck.  My mother warns me that when this idea of mine grows wings I'll regret it.  I don't think so.  I watch and wait.  I putter and post.  I just dream of the day when I can carry my own weight.  That will come the day my dreams take flight.